My Road to meet God
“You did not choose me, but I chose you – (John 15:16)
Lord, let your spirit help me out in finishing my testimony. Lord, my God, help me out in this endeavor.
I was invited for my first ever retreat in my life during 2010 Easter holiday’s. It was Maundy Thursday, 1st April, 2010. I finished my office and reached home around 6:30PM. I was supposed to attend the church service by 8.00 PM where I would be meeting Dr. Clington. It would roughly take an hour to reach the destination and I was well placed in time. I packed my things for a three day retreat. Little I know, that journey was going to make a great impact in my life.
When I was about to reach the bus stop, there came the temptation, I saw the bakery and I decided why not to treat myself with a donut. After all, I was hungry; however I was double minded to succumb to the temptation. My intuition was not to get in as I may miss the bus. However, I quickly yielded. Alas in that short span of time, I missed the bus. I convinced myself based on the fact that buses will be available every 10 minutes.
However, I kept on waiting for more than 20 minutes, but nothing turned up. I was cursing myself. I was getting restless. My luggage was heavy and I started feeling the toll of it, especially after the days work. There was strong intuition inside me to walk to the destination. As the path was total uphill, with the heavy weight on by my back, I started ignoring it thinking that it’s another part of self suggestion.
However, the intuition inside me didn’t stop. It started growing stronger and stronger and eventually, just to connive, I started walking. As I started walking uphill, the intuition prompted me neither to stop nor to look back, but to keep walking. However, I ignored it and turned back. I remember doing it for three times, but every time, the intuition strongly prompted me to walk further and never to turn back. I kept on walking and when it was close to the destination, the bus came and stopped in front of me.
I was tempted once again. The intuition in me was not to get into the bus. But my common sense told me “why I am mean here, especially when I am going for a prayer service”. I, being pragmatic got into the bus not knowing what lies ahead. I got stuck in traffic. By the time, I reached the church, most of the service was over and I felt guilty and shameful about it.
Now, just to give a little information about me, I was graceful enough to have loving and caring parents, blessed enough to have a wonderful childhood, and will fall into the so called successful career makers. Though Christian and secular values are well imbibed into me, I still had my own doubts and reservations when it comes to faith. Continue